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  • Extremely American

Family and Friends – Why we are losing them?

May 25, 2021: Extremely American Journalist & Contributor Wende Fahey has written a beautiful 3-part series on the human side of the Covid pandemic and how we can use this crisis to become better people, better family members, and better friends.

Wende reflects on many of the topics we have all been thinking about and offers invaluable insights on our best path forward. The second and third articles in this 3-part series will be published in consecutive days (May 26 and May 27, respectively). EA is thrilled to publish this thoughtful series to our growing grass roots community.

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Since March 2020, we have watched divisiveness happening on all levels of humanity. Families being ripped apart over the decision to mask or not mask, vaccinate or not vaccinate. Friends, long time friends who you thought would be there forever, suddenly ghost you, or worse, they attack you and then ghost you.

What the heck happened?

Outside of the fact that this whole scam is a scripted plan, let’s take a glimpse into how and why this is happening.

For those of you that remember, dinner time and Sunday dinner were sacred events in the traditional nuclear family. You sat down with your family, at an appointed time, to eat and have conversation. It was over these conversations that we learned how to interact with others, to learn emotional regulation (or not!), to hear how a debate should flow and what it looks like. We used to be exposed to uncomfortable, thought provoking ideas at the dinner table, and Sunday dinner. We also learned that you are entitled to have an opposing opinion, grumble a lot and still be a family. Yes, you might have heard griping for weeks after, and yet, the family still gathered.

I noticed this start to crumble around the introduction of Sunday shopping in Canada. Suddenly, we were out consuming, purchasing, window shopping on Sundays instead of slowing down and building community. At the end of the 90’s came the introduction of the world wide web and cell phones for the masses. The slippery slope of technology and divisiveness had begun.

As technology progressed, people started to be more fascinated with their technology than they were with the people right in front of them. With manufacturers of these goods constantly upgrading the technology, the drive to have more, better, faster was the order of the day. People no longer understood the concept of healthy boundaries and started bringing their phones to the dinner table. Discussions were no longer being had. And the family unit, between consumerism, materialism, and social media, began dissolving like sugar in a glass of water.

The art of conversation has been lost in this world where texting and ghosting has become the norm. Having those conversations that are hard, that are uncomfortable, are no longer modeled. Your opinion, should it be different from others, is now ridiculed. Cancel culture is a real thing!

Teaching people how to have and hold healthy boundaries, to respect the opinions of others that disagree with you, to communicate effectively are all becoming lost arts in a sea of disgruntled, disconnected, unhappy humans whose main goal is to feel better about themselves. They have perceptions, filters and perspectives that are causing them to react the way they do. To make themselves feel better, diminishing those around them that are not “lining up” the way they “should be” helps them feel better about themselves superficially. We have a sea of wounded people, making decisions from wounded places.

We, as a society, and as humans, need to do better. If this pandemic has taught us anything, it is that we are not functioning well as a race. We are not collectively gathering to say no. We are acquiescing to what is easiest. That is not how we will win this battle. We must model the behavior we wish to see in others, every day, in every way.

And send love, compassion, and forgiveness to those that do not understand what they are doing because they weren’t modeled better behaviors. This will bring your heart peace.

And being in a place of love is how we will reclaim our humanity.

By: Extremely American Journalist & Contributor (Canada) Wende Fahey


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